Local Nincompoop Lands Plum Job
by Kevin Ahern

Local nincompoop, Todd Wardlow announced to reporters on Friday that he has secured a new job and has left his current one, effective immediately. According to Wardlow, the new position is an incredible opportunity, requiring him to work only part time from his home on as yet to be assigned projects. “Yep, this baby is a dream come true. In fact, it’s so good, some of my friends say it’s actually too good to be true. That’s how great it is.”

Apparently, Wardlow learned of the opportunity thanks to an email he received from another person who had earlier followed the internet trail and was already profiting from it. “Mr. M. Smith said he was making over $25,000 a month and was expecting that to double by the end of the year. Now, I gotta admit, that sounded pretty hard to believe and I was skeptical at first. I’m not the kind of guy who believes everything he reads.” This set Wardlow off to do a little detective work and what he found convinced him that this was the real deal.

“I know all about internet scams and I know how those things work. They promise you the moon and the stars, but but when you reply to their message, you get a big run around where they ask you for money. I was too smart for that. Instead of replying to the message, I clicked on the link they sent.” This strategy apparently paid off in spades, as Wardlow got connected with the CEO of the company (MC Enterprises) named Matt Clark. According to Wardlow, Mr. Clark couldn’t have been nicer. “He asked all about me and my experience. He even asked me to call him Matt and said I should send him my resume as I sounded like a great prospect. That made me feel pretty good,” said Wardlow, proudly beaming

After Wardlow’s resume apparently passed muster, he then had to stand for a phone interview, with questions such as “Are you ready to take the next step to advance your career?”; “Are you able to commit 4-6 hours per week to earn over $20,000 per month?; and “Do you have the email addresses of three friends who might also be interested in this opportunity?”

Wardlow said he thought hard before answering the first two questions. “I didn’t want to make any promises I couldn’t keep, but then I realized if this came through, I wouldn’t need my other job at the warehouse.” With that, Wardlow said, all of the pieces came together. He called his boss to announce he was quitting his job. “My boss said I was nuts, but I can’t wait until he finds out about this opportunity himself - I gave Matt his name and email address as one of my three friends in answer to the last question.”

For the short term, Wardlow is eagerly awaiting his training materials and first assignment. “I’m so excited I gave Matt my credit card number so he could FEDEX the materials to me tomorrow. Otherwise, it could have taken up to six weeks. I can’t wait to get started.”

 

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