Local Nincompoop Confused by Happy Hour
by Kevin Ahern

Local Nincompoop, Todd Wardlow expressed bewilderment yesterday at some aspects of the Happy Hour advertised in the newspaper for Buddy’s Bar and Grill on 4th street. The first area of confusion concerned the timing of the event. “It says happy hour runs from 3:00 til 6:00, but that is clearly more than an hour. It would be helpful to know which hour in that time frame the happy hour will be - 4 til 5?, 3:30 to 4:30?, or something weird like 4:17 to 5:17? He went on to add, “Maybe this is like one of those scratch-off coupons where you don’t know how much of a discount you’re getting until you scratch the card. That’s probably how they get you in the door.”


The second component of Wardlow’s confusion stemmed from the mechanism of service. “The advertisement says ‘bottomless pitchers’ $8. I may be a nincompoop, but even I know that wouldn’t be a very effective way to deliver beer to customers,” Wardlow declared. “Sounds like a way to sell more beer. How big of a hole in the bottom are we talking about? Could I plug it with my thumb? Can you can bring your own pitcher that has a bottom or are you required to use theirs? Also, what about the glasses? Do they have bottoms or do you need to think about that too?”

The last area of puzzlement for Wardlow involved the conclusion of the event. “Will there be some kind of a bell that goes off announcing when the hour is over, or do I need to set my watch? I don’t want to pay the inflated prices they’re going to charge the minute this thing’s over.” Nevertheless, despite his reservations, Wardlow said he was inclined to attend the event, but declared, “I’m going to be as smart of a shopper as I always am.”

 

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