Your Poor Veins
(To the tune of "You're So Vain")
Copyright © 2009 Kevin Ahern

Barbara and Neal Gladstone's recording HERE

Well I raced off to my doctor
Cause I was feelin’ the twinges of pain
I was worried about my heart 'cause I
Was overweight once a-gain
She took one look at my profile and
Just shook her head and complained

"You gotta wake up and change all that junk you've been eating
Junk you've been eating. 'Cause

Your poor veins
Are plugged 'cause you are wolfin' the butter
And LDLs
Are makin' your heart go a-flutter
Flutter, Flutter"

She had warned me several months before
But I just ignored what was said
She told me, "You look like a heart attack"
"It's surprising that you're not dead"
I walked away in disbelief
And ate more bad food instead

I loaded oodles of cream in my tall Macchiatos
Tall Macchiatos and

LDLs
Went up as I was gulping 'em down my
LDLs
Just turned a smile right into a frown
A frown, a frown

I decided to make a change right there
The diet was merely step one
All the trans fats were banished from my food
And I started to jog just for fun
I had one foot in the grave when I
Discovered what I had done

I moved away from the edge of the doorstep of death to
Re-gaining my breath when my

HDLs
Increased since I was eating more smartly
HDLs
They lowered my cholesterol partly
Partly, partly

Well you know I'm feeling much better now
And my heart is surely relieved
A factor certainly is the unsaturates
Contained in my sunflower seeds
Yeah the fatty acids were the keys
Essential things that we need

Those fish oil capsules and o-mega threes cleaned
My ar-ter-ies with

HDLs
They're more than just the latest hot crazes
HDLs
They saved me so I'm singing their praises
Praises, Praises

 

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