The Bloody Things

(To the tune of “Coke ® It's The Real Thing”)

Copyright © 2011 Kevin Ahern

David Simmons' recording HERE

I’m gonna put some oxygens

         beside my porphyrin rings

To nudge the irons up a notch

         and yank on histidines

The globins’ shapes will change a bit,

         oh what a sight to see

The way they bind to oxygen

         co-op-er-AH-tive-ly

And as I exit from the lungs

         to swim in the bloodstream

Metabolizing cells they all

         express their needs to me

To them I give up oxygen

         and change from R to T

While my amines, they hang onto

         the protons readily

But that's not all the tricks I know,

         there's more that’s up my sleeve

Like gaps between sub-U-nits that

         hold 2,3-BPG

When near met-a-bo-LI-zing cells,

         I bind things that diffuse

The protons and bicarbonates

         from lowly cee oh twos

CHORUS

That’s the way it is

When your cells are at play

Go say hip hip hooray

For the bloody things

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